A Tale of Two Cities is a storey about two cities. The Book Thief, Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Dune, and The Grapes of Wrath are some of my favourite books. In this post, I will not discuss these or any other books of this type. I’ll be discussing their opposites: the worst books were ever written. Let’s say that you are an adult working in the best MLM software company and you want to try reading books during your ample time. If any of these books listed below are in your reading list, please reconsider. I’ve based this list on public and critical opinion, so let’s get this literary hell walk started.
- Walden by Henry David Thoreau
A book that has been praised by a large number of people, particularly the travel blogging community. A book that was set and written just a few kilometres from my childhood home. Thoreau, Henry David, settled into a log cabin in the woods. He read, wrote, watched nature, farmed his own food, and attempted to make art out of it.
“Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself.” –Henry David Thoreau, Walden
After studying about privilege in America for years, it’s clear that Thoreau was only interested in what a wealthy independent man might do with his leisure, neglecting everyone else in society. Another issue was that much of what Thoreau wrote was tinged with hypocrisy. He expressed how much he enjoyed burning down half the forest in between preaching about the beauty and fragility of nature. As he creates a new book for them to read, he would go on and on about how the only books people should read are classic Greek literature. His mother would also take care of his laundry.
- 50 Shades of Grey Series by E.L. James
This borderline sexual nonsense is the worst novel I’ve ever read.
This erotica-thriller trilogy begins with Master of the Universe, a Twilight fan-fiction that follows Anastasia and Christian (the eponymous Mr Grey) as he exposes her to the world of BDSM. Even James was startled by the book’s success (should I suggest, because of frustrated housewives?!). It topped bestseller lists all over the world and inspired a semi-successful film franchise. The literary world, as well as members of the BDSM community, panned it because of the portrayal of BDSM and dominatrixes. I have close friends who downloaded a free chapter online and remarked that the writing style, wording, and overall cheesiness of the thing horrified their inner goddesses. If there was ever a storyline, a tale, or even an erotica vibe (sex) to those books, it was lost in a sea of poorly selected words.
- The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer
To be honest, I was addicted to the Twilight books when they were at their peak of popularity. I didn’t like them, yet I couldn’t put them down. And, strangely, my buddy Beth and I started a ritual of watching the movies on premiere night among the diehard fans. There is nothing I say here that you haven’t heard before. These books are written in a clumsy manner. At best, there isn’t much in the way of character development. Football fields are the size of the plot holes.
The saddest thing is that these books celebrate intimate partner abuse in front of a young female readership. Edward’s actions should be recognised as frightening, not held up as a model for romance. He stalks, controls, threatens, says “no one will ever love you like I do,” leaves you bruised and suggests you tell others you fell down the stairs and eventually leads you to give up your future for him. Also, a werewolf has feelings for a baby.